I left

               Well I’m on the plane… not really sure what I’m feeling. A little empty, a little nauseous, a little scared. Not a lot of excitement really. I think it’ll be better once I’m there, and I’m seeing people I want to meet and things I want to do. I am excited for classes, and to learn things again. The only thing I’m worried about now is a job, and I know I can always get a good enough one. But I’d really like to get a job I can learn and grow in and that will challenge me and also pay a good bit. But at least that’s up to me. I have control of my life, and that’s what is most important to me. I just want to stay focused, and do well in school and life. My goal this year is to make sure school comes first and that I always put in just a little more than the time needed.

                I’m wondering if I’ll get homesick. I obviously have wanted to leave home for a while, and even though the past few weeks that longing has gone away more, it’s still been there. I don’t really feel like there’s anyone I’ll miss. Even the friends that I still managed to care about after high school, the last time I was hanging out with all of them I just felt empty. I wonder if I’ve lost some capacity to feel. I guess I’ll find out when I’m trying to make new friends at school.